Don't Let Them Fool You
by staymagical
Summary: A prison within a hospital, a hospital that is a prison, it all came to the same meaning.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So this was just going to be a one shot buuuuuuuuut I have decided to continue it due to peer pressure and just a desire to do so (but mostly peer pressure). So expect another chapter sometime soon.

**Disclaimer: **Obviously I don't own Merlin, no matter how much I may want to

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His footsteps made no sound as he crept down the dimly lit, sterile white hallway, bare feet light upon the cold tiled floor. Shadows thrown across the floor played games with his mind, so impossibly still that they moved, taunting him with their threats, their promises of small cold white rooms. Rooms with nothing but a cot and a toilet, maybe restraints if he didn't cooperate with the hospital staff. A cell was a more appropriate description. A prison within a hospital, a hospital that is a prison, it all came to the same meaning.

Merlin wasn't crazy. He wasn't insane. It was all a fabricated lie coupled with drug-induced hallucinations, a way to keep him locked up and under constant watch, no longer a threat. The drug was in his food and later, when he refused to eat, starving himself until he all but collapsed in a pile of skin and bones, added to his water. In the end they had made sure that if he wanted to live, he had no choice but to take it. It caused him to see things, to imagine people, monsters, and beings that weren't there. But his thoughts weren't jumbled or so intertwined that he couldn't distinguish fantasy from reality. Because no one knew they were the same thing. The fantasies and myths that the nurses read about, discussing in light carefree conversations in the corridors, and tried to convince him were nothing but a figment of his overactive scrambled imagination, were reality. The magical creatures in disguise that came wandering into the compound or worked here as the overseer, flashing him a knowing cruel smirk every time she watched the nurses inject him with sedative or restrain him in his room, they were real. No, the problem lay with figuring out what was reality and what were hallucinations. They both conveniently contained the same magical and non-magical beings. And that's where the heart of it all lay.

He had long ago given up the attempt to convince anyone that his condition was being unwillingly thrust upon him. He was alone in his truth. It was his and couldn't be passed on to others no matter how hard he tried. Didn't stop the painful treatments, the experiments, the therapy. No. They would never stop. "Cured" or not, he was here and here they were determined he would forever stay.

But even those thoughts couldn't diminish his determination, his almost manic need to escape the hell that had become his life. As he made his way silently down the empty corridor, keeping an eye out for nurses, guards, and hallucinations alike, he knew if he didn't get out now, he wouldn't last much longer. There was only so long he could hold the real insanity at bay before it finally took over. The hallucinations had started blurring even more frequently into his real life to the point where he had refused to talk to anyone in fear that they were a fabrication of the drug. He didn't need to give the doctors any more incentive to keep him locked away, and talking to someone or something that wasn't there was definitely an incentive. So he kept quiet and defiant.

A soft noise to the right brought Merlin's attention to the door he was currently passing. He paused in his silent movements, stilling his breathing and listening hard. Silence. Maybe he had imagined it. Wouldn't be the first time. Every one of his phantoms seemed hell bent on destroying any sort of sanity he may still possess. There was one of his hallucinations that had decided to scream in his ear all through the night, keeping him awake and barely holding on as he huddled in the corner of his room. That had been the worst. The others just talked to him, or silently stalked him down the hallways before lunging at him in a mock attack.

He reached the end of the corridor where it broke off into a T. He knew from experience that to the left he would find the lounge while the right he led to the unknown. Well his direction of choice was obvious. Cautiously, Merlin peered around the corner, only to immediately pull his head back. A security guard was wandering the hallway ahead. Merlin cursed silently. He had hoped luck would run with him tonight but of course it was too much to ask for. Luck hadn't really been on his side as of late.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin steeled himself for what was to come. Upon arrival to the facility, the overseer had clamped a patient tag on his wrist, a knowing smirk flashing across her lips. It actually turned out to be an iron band that locked his magic within his body. He could still feel it thrumming deep in his chest but unable to reach it for the most part. It was only with an extreme life-threatening event that he discovered he was able to pull off the most simple of tricks with only the counter effect of shooting pain lacing up his arm and through his veins, all but incapacitating him. The first time it had happened, Merlin had collapsed in shock and agony but thankfully no one had noticed his magical trick, only assuming he had had a fit. It would be the only time he would be thankful for the schizophrenia cover he carried. If anyone had discovered he could still use even this minimal of magic, he was sure they would revert to more permanent measures to prevent anymore slip ups. Now though, he was prepared to throw caution to the wind. He would escape tonight. It was now or never.

Merlin braced his back against the wall and with a whispered word, his eyes flashed gold and a soft thud sounded from around the corner. Not a second later, fire shot through his veins, licking up his right arm and quickly engulfing his senses. He gasped involuntarily before viciously biting down on his lower lip to keep from crying out. His legs gave out suddenly and he slid down the wall where he sat, knees pulled up and head shoved between, trying to calm his erratic breathing. He didn't have time for this. No time could be wasted now. Any second someone could wander upon the now slumbering guard and then all would be lost.

With that thought in mind, Merlin made to stand, only to fail spectacularly as the pain spiked and he slumped back to the floor. It was only after a precious minute that the pain ebbed to a manageable throbbing ache. He shakily got to his feet and staggered around the corner, swiping the key card from the unconscious guard as he passed down the hallway. He peaked a little less cautiously around the next corner before hurtling down it. He knew he was getting sloppy, with his breathing more than audible and even his footsteps not entirely silent anymore, but he was running out of time. Every second that passed increased his chances of discovery.

Right, left—no backtrack—straight, stop, wait out the guard, ok good, key card for the door, straight—wrong way, backtrack—knock out a nurse with a spell, pause for a minute, ok go. Finally Merlin found himself rounding the corner to find himself entering a corridor that ended in big double doors with a neon EXIT sign placed invitingly above the frame. He sighed in relief at the sight. The pain had grown with his continued use of magic, to the point where his arm felt like it had been broken and the fire in his veins refused to completely leave. But he had made it, freedom was almost within his grasp.

Merlin stumbled down the hallway, his senses on dulled from the pain but still trying to keep alert for any staff. He couldn't get caught now, not when he was this close.

He was just about to swipe the key card to open the doors when she appeared out of thin air in front of the doors. He immediately whirled to face her, ready to let a burst of magic out no matter how weak he was nor the pain it would cause. He was so close, his desperation peaking to an all-time high. No way in hell he was going let anything stop him now. He let the remaining magic he could sense fill him up with its meager supply. It would have to be enough.

"Out for a little stroll, are we?" she sneered, a smirk playing across her lips. Her dark eyes filled with cruel confidence. "But we were having so much fun here, Merlin. I would hate to see you leave the party so early." She raised her hand in a halting gesture.

"I'll show you fun," he stated, ready to unleash his magic upon her.

It was at that moment that a large beefy hand clamped down on his shoulder and he felt a sting on his neck. He whirled around, shaking the hand off his shoulder in the process, and found himself face to face with one of the large nurses. The man smiled at him, pity in his eyes as Merlin suddenly swayed. It was then that the young warlock noticed the syringe in the man's hand.

"No," he breathed. Despair filled him. His hand went subconsciously to the side of his neck, to the point he felt the sting.

Merlin made to take a step but stumbled. Suddenly the corridor was tilting and turning and he felt strong arms on his back, flipping him over. He stared up at the shifting white ceiling as his vision blurred in and out. A dark haired pale face with piercing dark eyes made appeared above him, the smirk still plastered to her face.

"Sweet dreams, Merlin," she cooed viciously as his head lolled to the side. The last thing he saw before the darkness claimed him was the blurred outline of a taunting neon green sign.

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**A/N:** So there ya go. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review if you so desire, it would really help me know what you guys think and how I'm doing so far.

Until next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **So, this is kinda my experimental piece seeing as it's my first published fic but we shall see how it all goes. I have an idea for where it's all heading though, so no worries. And I just wanna say thanks to CastielhasthePhoneBox for being my beta. I love you and you're amazing. Anyway, enough about that, here's the second chapter. Enjoy!

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"_I am the king, Merlin, you can't tell me what to do," Arthur stated, giving Merlin a pointed look. _

_Merlin stuck out his tongue. "I can do as I like, _sire_."_

"_And I can throw you in the stocks!"_

"_I'll just magic myself free," Merlin countered, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest. "I am the most powerful warlock."_

"_Yes, but I'm still the king so you have to follow my orders."_

"_You wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me!"_

_Arthur paused for a second, his eyebrows knitted in thought. "True. You win. Come on, let's go fight that griffin!"_

"Arthur!" Merlin sat bolt upright—or at least made the attempt. He was restrained to his flimsy cot by his wrists, making it impossible to lift his torso more than a few inches off the bed. After a few experimental tugs, he conceded he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and flopped back onto the cot.

His king was out there somewhere, in danger and left unprotected from the variety of magical beings that wished him harm. How could Merlin have forgotten about his destiny?! He knew the drug messed with his mind, but he didn't think it would go so far as to temporarily take his memories of Arthur away. That was one of the factors—if not the only one—driving him to escape. He needed to be out there, protecting his king and ensuring destiny played out the way it was supposed to. No exceptions.

It seemed cruel that he had found Arthur not that long ago before they had been ripped apart. It had taken one touch from Merlin to remind Arthur of who he was and bring his memories rushing back to him. Then the two had been able to pick up from where they had left off, though their love for one another even stronger now than it was before as if the time apart had only increased it. Reincarnations were tricky things apparently. He had been patiently waiting the return of his king for a century or two now—he had lost count—and when he finally found him, reincarnated into the twenty-first century looking the same as he did back in Camelot.

He had only had him for a short while before he had been torn from his love, captured, and dragged here.

His mind began to race then as he recalled his little escapade last night along with his rather embarrassing failure. He had been so close, the exit within his grasp. And then _she_ had shown up and succeeded in distracting him with her mocking words and snide comments. Granted, the overseer had probably known it the second he escaped from his room—she had eyes and ears everywhere. Likely she had just been toying with him, watching him while he thought himself so sly and stealthy creeping down the halls. Merlin felt the panic slowly building. He had done magic! If she had seen, if she now knew….he didn't even want to think of the consequences.

But he could still see the patient tag around his wrist, the same one he had on before. He could still feel his magic on standby in his chest, could still reach out to it if he needed to. So maybe they hadn't noticed. Maybe he actually got lucky and kept his magic a secret. How, he didn't know but at the moment he could care less. He still had it if he needed it and that's all that mattered.

He had to get out of here. He had a new destiny to discover by Arthur's side. Protect his king, that's what he had to do and he very well couldn't do that from within this god forsaken asylum.

Strapped to the cot, in his small, whitewashed room, Merlin had no choice but to lie there with his thoughts until he was unrestrained. They couldn't keep him locked up all day. If he remembered the day correctly, he was scheduled to have a therapy session this afternoon with Dr. Nolan. Not that these session worked anyway, but he preferred them to the experiments he had to endure on seemingly random days. Give him Dr. Nolan any day. Better than getting poked, prodded, and electrocuted.

The slide of a keycard and click of the lock brought Merlin's attention to the heavy metal door. It was made of solid iron—or so he assumed—with a small window set at eye level so the guards and nurse could check on the patients without having to put their safety at risk and a small trap door at the bottom for shoveling food through in case a patient was to be in solitary (yeah _just_ like a prison—ironic isn't it).

"Good afternoon, Merlin," a motherly voice cooed. Merlin watched as a short mousy middle-aged woman walked through the door, balancing a tray in her hands. A rather large guard watched from the open doorway. The young warlock rolled his eyes. What did they think he was going to do, attack the woman and attempt to escape in broad daylight? Merlin pondered this. That's probably exactly what they expected. After all, he was supposed to be mentally unstable and the mentally unstable weren't always the most logical. He sighed.

"I suspect you're hungry after you're little excursion last night. I brought you some lunch." She strode over, placing the tray on the table by his bed before turning her attention to the restraints and beginning to unlatch them. It wasn't until the mention of food that Merlin realized how hungry he truly was. He hadn't had anything to eat since late afternoon the day before. He sat up once the restraints were removed, rubbing absentmindedly at his wrists as he reached for the tray.

After a completely unsatisfying meal of vegetable mush, some kind of meat mush, and an unidentifiable mush (everything had to be easily chewable so no knives or forks, which could be used as weapons, were needed) all mixed with a dash of hallucinatory drug no doubt, the nurse gathered up the tray and turned to leave.

"Nurse Katie will be by soon to take you to your therapy session with Dr. Nolan, all right sweetie? Just stay put and she'll be right along," the nurse said with a kind smile before turning back to the door and nodding to the guard. Merlin heard the resounding click as the door closed behind the nurse and locked automatically.

The young warlock sighed. All the staff was kind enough, though tended to treat him as a child unable to comprehend sentences or commands properly. It was annoying but understandable. They all thought he was insane. He would have done the same if he was in their position. Didn't make it any less demeaning.

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Dr. Nolan was a tall, lean bespectacled man with salt and pepper hair and long, lithe fingers that flew over his notepad in criticizing scrawl as he lay down judgment on his patients' progress. He spoke in questions and sometimes riddles, trying to get his patients to admit their problems and using psychological tricks to mend their thoughts and heal their minds. Merlin knew Nolan was good at what he did, that he broke through walls and barriers his patients built in their minds, but Merlin wasn't crazy so the effort was completely wasted on him. He would nod and smile and answer the doctor's questions and riddles but the sessions never got very far. But not for lack of trying on Nolan's part.

Merlin slouched in the plush armchair, his gaze wandering around Dr. Nolan's office. A healing color of light blue covered the walls. A large corner window took up residence behind the doctor's desk which was situated at an angle so it faced the door on the opposite side. A small plain bookshelf leaned up against the wall by the door, its books collecting dust as though they were never used. The young warlock suspected they weren't. Dr. Nolan didn't need to refer to any texts to guide him anymore.

"So Merlin, I heard you had a fun little adventure last night. How are you doing today?" Dr. Nolan sat in a similar armchair facing Merlin, his notepad poised on his crossed legs ready to pass judgment on the young man sitting across from him.

"Fine."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

"Have you seen anyone recently?" He's talking about hallucinations. Merlin knows he's trying to gauge how bad his illness has gotten, if his phantoms have taken permanent residence in his life, following him around perpetually. The young warlock has learned by now not to answer other than yes or no. It only leads to more questions and more answers he doesn't want to give. So he just sits there deciding to keep his silence on this one.

"What about Arthur?" Merlin tensed. "Merlin, do you know where Arthur is?"

_Out there, waiting for my return to his side_, Merlin thought to himself, glancing out the window. He needed to get out. He didn't need this, didn't want this, didn't want to handle this! Something in Merlin snapped.

"How could I when I've been cooped up in here, held against my will, being force-fed hallucinatory drugs to give evidence to this fabricated 'illness' when I need to be out there protecting my king and fulfilling destiny!" Merlin stood in a rush, breathing heavy in his anger. "But I don't expect you to understand that, _doctor_."

"Merlin—"

"I think we are done here," Merlin didn't even wait for an answer instead looked toward the door. "I wish to go back to my room now. Session is over."

As the door opened and Merlin was began walking out to Nurse Katie and the guard waiting on the other side, he glanced at the doctor as he passed, taking in the sad and pitying look etched upon the doctor's face and noticing the notes the doctor was currently writing down. _Coping mechanism still in effect. Remains in denial._

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**A/N:** So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the second chapter. Next one shall be up in a week (hopefully…I'm gonna try my very hardest to be prompt). Please review and let me know how I'm doing so far. Thanks and until next time…have fun be safe and don't die :D


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Wahoooo! I actually updated well before midnight this time! So yeah here's the next chapter. I actually had a blast writing this (that sounds horrible but its true) and like it a whole lot better than my last chapter. I'll just let you guys be the judge. ENJOY!

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Days passed. Merlin was approved to visit the dining commons and lounge but only with an escort of both a nurse and guard. It was…frustrating. He needed to scope, to work out his next course of action. He needed to plan his next escape and couldn't very well do that with eyes on him at all times.

Plus, the hallucinations were getting worse.

Apparently they had upped his dosage since his little escapade that night. The hallucinations were more frequent now, longer lasting, and more demanding of his attention. Before, he could ignore the mirages easily once he figured out they were all in his head. There would just be a random monster here, a dead or forgotten person there, standing in the background or sharing a few words with him before disappearing. Easily ignored.

But now…not so much.

He imagined he saw his mother one night, standing by his cot. But she wasn't here. She wasn't alive anymore. She had talked to him, her soothing voice portraying a bedtime story, like she used to when he was little. He tried to ignore her, to just turn around and close his eyes, will her away so he wouldn't be tempted to talk to her just one last time and thus give the nurses more proof that he belonged here. But the second he turned his back to her, she started screaming, yelling at him about what a horrible son he had been, how he had caused her death with all his secrets and lies. And she didn't stop. Not even when he broke his silence and asked her to leave him alone. Not when his requests turned to demands, then morphed into sobbing pleas. She didn't stop until dawn. No matter how many times he told himself she wasn't real.

But that hadn't been the worst one. No, that came a day later.

He was sitting in the lounge, curled up in the only armchair by the window that looked out of the facility. The dry brown grass out front, despite its unhealthy and clearly dead appearance, called to him, as did the cloudy, but open sky. It taunted him with its promise of freedom, of escape. He sighed, thinking of Arthur out there somewhere, possibly looking up at the same sky and wondering where the young warlock was. He hoped he was looking for him just as hard as Merlin was trying to return to his side.

"Merlin." A soft sweet feminine voice broke through his thoughts. A voice he thought he would never hear again. A voice, he realized with a pang of guilt, that he couldn't ever hear again. Especially not now.

_Gwen_

He didn't even bother to look at the apparition, the hallucination that his guilt-ridden mind had conjured into existence. He had been the cause of her death and he would never forgive himself for it. Life had resumed, but it was only with Arthur's help that he had continued at all. If it hadn't been for his king, he didn't think he would have been able to move on at all.

They had been going….somewhere. Merlin couldn't quite remember, his mind too foggy and muddled with the drugs right now. Lance, Gwen, Arthur and himself. The young warlock was driving, having insisted that he didn't mind chauffeuring his boyfriend and friends around. Arthur, like the perfect gentleman he was, offered Gwen the front seat, knowing full well her sensitivity to motion. It always helped if she sat up front.

It had been raining and the other car had come out of nowhere. One second they were driving down the highway, laughing and joking, and the next thing he knew he was waking up in a hospital bed two days later. They had tried to break it to him softly, but it hadn't made any difference. Gwen and Lance were dead. And so soon after he had found them, beautiful and whole and wonderfully reincarnated just like his king. But now, they were gone. He had to live without them. Again.

He was told the other car had barreled straight into the passenger side of the car, killing Gwen and Lance instantly. Arthur had miraculously walked away with only a broken arm and fractured rib. Merlin hadn't been as lucky. He couldn't remember the specifics of his injures, only could remember that he spent a few weeks in the hospital. That whole time was blurred in his mind, as though the guilt and emotional pain spread a film across that memory.

He had killed his friends. Gwen and Lance were dead because of him. It was all his fault.

"Merlin. It's me, Gwen."

_No, you're not. Not really._

"I've come to see how you're doing. Thought maybe we could have lunch together here." Her voice poked and prodded at the walls in his head, causing him to wince in longing. He wanted to see her, the real her, to hold her, to tell her he was sorry.

_You're not real. You're not real. You're not real._

"Merlin…?"

_I'm sorry._

"Merlin, look at me please."

He shut his eyes, willing the mirage to go away, to just leave him alone and stop tormenting him. Hadn't he gone through enough with the image of his mother the other night? Why couldn't they just leave him _alone_?!

He felt her settle down into one of the hard plastic chairs beside him, the feeling of her gaze never leaving his face.

"Hey. Come on, Merlin. Talk to me."

"You're not real," he whispered so quietly so as not to let anyone overhear him talking to an apparition. He kept his eyes shut, repeating the denial of her existence in his head. _Not real. Not real. Not real._

"I'm here, Merlin. Truly, I am. Please, just look at me."

Almost against his own will, he turned his head toward her. She looked much the same as she had that night, though the circles under her eyes, slightly mussed hair, and deep sadness that seemed to weigh down her whole frame were new additions. He wondered why his mind added those details. Probably to reflect his own state of unhealthiness. He still hadn't quite recovered from that night of sleeplessness.

"See, it's me. I'm here. I came to see you." A small smile broke out on her face. Oh how he missed that smile, no matter how small.

He ignored his almost overwhelming itch to reach out to her and embrace her, to give into the fabrication of his mind. She wasn't here. She was in a much better place now, in Avalon with Lance. He tried to convince himself that she was better off.

It didn't work.

_Not real not real not real._

"You're not real. You're dead. Please, just leave me alone," he asked gently, looking into her soft brown eyes. Guilt made another stab at his heart and he had to look away, preferring to glance back out the window than to face his guilt head-on.

He watched her eyes grow heavy with sadness and pain. Moisture began to fill them. "No. Merlin, believe me. I'm here. Right in front of you. Alive and well. It's really me."

This was worse, much worse than his mother's apparition. She seemed so whole and _alive_ that it cut him much deeper than any of the words his mother screamed at him. Not even the pain of complete exhaustion that had resulted from that sleepless night could compare to the emotional pain he felt at this moment. He had done this to her. He was the reason she wasn't out there living a full happy life with Lance, growing old together, having children and grandchildren and just living life the way she was always meant to. His fault.

_Notrealnotrealnotreal._

"I know it's hard for you—"

_Notrealnotrealnotreal._

"—but you have to know it wasn't your fault." She paused then. The silence spread before them, Merlin silently willing her away as he felt Gwen's sad eyes upon him. Of course she would say that. It was meant to sooth and ease his guilt that, in the end, would only make it more unbearable. That's what these apparitions did nowadays. They started out seemingly sweet and completely like their dead counterparts before twisting his emotions and causing him to break.

Then, she spoke. It was so softly that he almost didn't catch her next words. "I miss him. Every day I miss him, but you have to get over—"

"Just leave me alone! Why do you have to continually torture me?! You're _not real_! You're dead, gone, passed on!" He was standing now, glaring down at the mirage with sadness and guilt masked only slightly by hatred. Hatred at the drugs for continuing to morph his mind, ruin his memories, and tear at his emotions. Hatred at himself for giving into them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin saw a nurse across the room look up in shock from her position by another patient. The guards by the door tensed, staring at him with apprehension and uncertainty. Their hands inched toward their belts and no doubt toward the syringes all staff was required to carry at all times.

Tears were now freely streaming down Gwen's face. She stood shakily and nodded. He didn't watch her disappear into nothing. He just sat back down in his chair and turned his head toward window again and closed his eyes, attempting to shut out all the painful memories and emotions that warred for dominance in his body and mind.

He didn't know how much time passed before he opened his eyes again. He could almost imagine that the whole ordeal had been nothing but a nightmare that he had just woken up from. Maybe he had.

Merlin gazed back out the window. The window, that was double panned and made of unbreakable fiberglass. The window that was resistant against force and removal, but not magic.

A smile broke out upon the young warlock's face.

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**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you all thought. Until next week, have fun be safe and don't die!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** A little bit later updating than I wanted to be but hey, at least I got it up. Close enough. Ha ha ha anyway hope you enjoy this chapter. I almost didn't put the scene at the end in but I decided it really was important. That's all I'm gonna say. Enjoy!

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Planning began that afternoon.

Not long after the Gwen apparition had disappeared, Merlin was escorted back to his room with the lie that he "must be tired". He knew the truth was they didn't want him harming or upsetting the other patients should he have another episode. But he needed to inspect the lounge and determine the best course of action for his escape and couldn't very well do that from the confines of his room—no, cell. Definitely a cell.

And he really didn't want to be locked up in there with nothing to do but think about what he had just hallucinated. No, definitely didn't want to do that. Wouldn't do that. Not again.

He firmly pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on his plan.

The cell door was going to be no problem. He would just have to use a bit of magic to get it to open. It was going to use up some of his precious energy but he didn't have a choice this time. Last time he had simply hid under his bed. As childish as it seemed at the time it had worked like a charm. The guard on duty had looked in through the window in the door and, upon seeing an empty bed, had unlocked the door and come barreling into the room. It was as the man was bending down to look under the cot that Merlin had wiggled out the foot of the cot unseen and hit the guard in the temple, rendering the man unconscious. But now the staff was expecting that and wouldn't fall for the trick again. He had to rely on his magic this time.

Merlin lay on his cot, going over the facts he knew from his last attempt. He knew the guards walked around down the halls and it took them about ten minutes to make a full round of his section. So that left him with ten minutes to get his door open, make his way down the halls to the lounge and magically escape out the window there. Give or take a minute or two for recovery after the backlash of using magic and he guessed he would have a couple minutes head start before they noticed his absence. Unless…

Merlin glanced around his room. Besides the cot he lay upon and the nightstand next to it, there was nothing in the room. The pillow behind his head would not be enough. He would need a quite a few of them to pull this off. And there was no way he could obtain them without someone noticing. He would have to find another way.

He fell asleep that night thinking of escape and imagining the reunion with his king.

But the hallucinations didn't give him a break. They followed him into his unconscious mind, this time in the form of Arthur. Arthur, who appeared to him bloody and mangled shouting about failure and accusing Merlin of abandoning him to die at the hands of his enemies. To die alone and unprotected because of Merlin. Because Merlin had failed. It had been entirely his fault.

Merlin was woken in the morning, shaking and disoriented by a nurse and guard, ready to escort him to the dining commons for breakfast. He sighed, feeling the last remnants of nightmare Arthur drift away as sat up and prepared to follow. It was as he exited his room that he was finally able to focus once more on the task ahead. The task he hoped to put into action tonight. The task of escape.

It was as he was walking in between his escorts, going over his plans once more in his head, that he noticed he wasn't being led in the direction of the dining commons. They were marching down the hallway in the opposite direction, away from both the lounge and the rest of the facility toward…

Merlin stopped dead in his tracks.

No.

He should have expected this. Two episodes in a week would have sparked their interests again.

A strong hand gripped his arm painfully and began dragging him along down the hallway. He struggled, trying to yank free and stop their progression but the guard seemed unfazed by his attempts and held firmly.

It was then that his magic surged up of its own accord, reacting to Merlin's distress. He felt it direct itself toward the large guard and although it was weak, he knew it was still powerful enough that it would be noticeable. But even as he threw up defenses to squash it down and keep it in place, he knew it was too late. It escaped, however weak and small in amount, and he felt it flow to the guard intending to free Merlin from the man's grasp. Merlin pinched his eyes closed, already feeling the telltale lances of pain shoot up his arm with the release of the magic and knew it was over. This was it. His greatest weapon against this asylum and his only hope for escape was soon to be discovered. And then he would have it no more. They would surely seal it away for good. Forever. It was all over. He gritted his teeth and braced himself for the blast of magic and inevitable repercussions.

But nothing happened.

Merlin opened his eyes. He had felt the release of the magic, felt it propelled toward the guard, felt the pain that followed. But nothing had happened. He could still feel himself still being dragged along albeit more easily due to his now drained and hurting body. Blinking in shock, Merlin observed the guard, still trudging him through the hall unaffected by….anything. No invisible force had pushed him, no spark had forced the man to release him, just….nothing.

Merlin glanced over the man again, noticing—upon closer inspection—a small metal band on his left wrist. It was pulsing slightly with a faint light. Merlin cursed to himself. Well no doubt that had prevented his magic from having affect, probably absorbing it if the pulsing was anything to go by. And now he was being easily bundled along the hallway, without the strength to fight anymore.

They came to halt outside a plain white soundproof door, the words "Examination Room" printed at eye level. Not the place he wanted to be at all.

Experiments. This is where they tested, poked, and prodded patients to determine cures for their illnesses. Of course, nothing had come from it as far as he was concerned. He wasn't crazy. They had, after all, fabricated his illness in the first place. No nothing but pain and agony awaited him behind those doors. And he really didn't want to face it again.

The first time he hadn't known what to expect, hadn't understood the purpose of drugs they injected him with. First came the headaches which quickly turned into migraines until he was sure his head would split open at the temples. They left him trembling so violently that he had to be strapped down and so nauseous that he would be throwing up for hours until he passed out from exhaustion. Let's just say it was not an experience he ever wanted to repeat. But they had, multiple times and each time they changed the drug slightly as some symptoms got worse while others weren't as bad. However, it was still painful, draining, and pointless and he really didn't want to go through it again. But, as always, he didn't have a choice in the matter.

The guard swiped his key card, unlocking the door, and ushered Merlin inside after the nurse.

A cot awaited him, like it had all the other times, restraints open and ready to immobilize him, two doctors waiting to begin the procedure. Both a heart rate and brain monitor were in attendance, one by the gurney the other behind a large observation window at the back of the room. Both were standard procedures so they could analyze the effects and monitor his vitals. Basically to make sure he didn't die, not yet at least.

They quickly strapped him down and hooked him up to the heart monitor, checking it to make sure it worked properly before then attaching the electrodes to his temples. That's when Merlin realized something was off. The electrode on the right temple was different from left, the standard electrodes meant to track his brain activity as the drug assaulted him. And there were no syringes waiting patiently on a tray nearby, like usual. This was different. A feeling of dread crept up Merlin's throat.

It was as a rubber block was forced between his teeth that he understood.

Electroshock therapy.

His mind reeled. He had heard about it, even found it slightly fascinating earlier on before he came to be here. But now it was anything but. It was supposed to be used in only the most extreme circumstances, after drugs and other forms of therapy were seen as ineffective, which in his case, were. But he wasn't insane so the other forms of therapy never had a chance to work. And weren't they supposed to knock him out first with an anesthetic and inject him with a muscle relaxant so he wouldn't harm himself? But the nurse and doctor were falling back, one doctor disappearing behind the observation window while the other two positioned themselves by the monitor. This therapy is supposed to cause seizures and they were just going to leave him to experience it in all its glory?!

Merlin started to panic, to protest, the rubber block in his mouth hindering him from forming any distinguishable words. He frantically pulled on the straps, knowing it was useless but not wanting to give in and accept his fate. In a final attempt, he reached for his magic.

And found…nothing.

Merlin slumped down on the cot, eyes staring up at the ceiling but not seeing it. His magic had abandoned him in his time of need. Yes, he could still feel it, barely thrumming at the back of his chest but when he reached for it, it seemed to shrink back. He was powerless.

That's when the electrical current began, shooting into his brain in spurts that lasted no more than a few seconds. His muscles immediately tensed, limbs jerking completely out of his control as his jaw locked upon the rubber block. It was a pain the likes of which he had never experienced before. He could feel his heart fibrillating and was vaguely aware of the heart monitor keeping in time with it. Seconds felt like hours as the spurts of electricity continued, filling his brain and taking control of his senses and body until all he knew was the pain. He begged for release, for an end. Finally, after a couple more agonizing minutes—or was it seconds, he really didn't know—his body went numb before his whole world turned black and he fell back into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

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**A/N:** Another chapter down! I'm not really sure how long this fic is going to be. I'm hoping no more than 10 chapters but I have no way to gauge how good at predicting I am seeing as this is my first fic. Alright, now to study for finals! Oh joy. II don't know how I'm going to focus though when all I wanna do is wallow in Young Justice feels! Broke my soul, that show did. Not as much as the Merlin finale did but still tears were shed. Well I guess until next week...have fun be safe and don't die (or cease)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry this one was a bit later than I wanted but if it makes you fell better, it's longer! And finals are now over! Yay! Enough talk, here's the chapter! Enjoy!

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"_Merlin. Merlin can you hear me?" A soothing familiar voice floated in through his pain-filled, guilt-ridden mind. "I know it's hard but you can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy." The voice suddenly got quieter, more sullen. "You can't keep blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Merlin…please. Say something."_

_He didn't move. Just lay there on the hospital bed, curled up on his uninjured side, knees tucked in toward his chest, eyes staring blankly at the wall directly in front of his nose. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to hear, he didn't want to exist. He shut everything out, preferring to retreat away into his mind rather than endure the outside world. _

_Gone. Dead. He was entirely to blame._

_The sound of the door opening broke through the walls in his mind briefly. He heard muffled patter of shoes on tiles, his visitor striding toward the door before the murmur of voices reached his nearly deafened ears. He only caught snippets, his focus fading into his mind and then back out with a certain selectivity._

"—_cleared to leave but we are unsure—"_

"—_unable to cope—"_

"—_depression may worsen—"_

"—_recommend therapy—"_

_He heard no more as his exhausted mind drifted off into an uneasy sleep._

He awoke slowly, muddled thoughts swirling around his brain in a whirlpool of confusion. He lay there, watching them float by in his mind, unable to grasp them or even making an effort to do so. But his mind gradually became more and more aware as he left the dream world behind, the pieces swirling together slowing to a lazy drift until he could catch more than fleeting glimpses of them.

One tickled his mind, yearning for his attention even through the sleepy haze. Something to do with the last remnants of his dream? Of maybe…Arthur? No that wasn't it. He recalled a white hospital room, deep rooted sadness, a loving familiar voice. Then just snippets, seemingly important but he couldn't tell Merlin shook his head to try and clear it, a movement he immediately regretted when it only aggravated his headache more. Arthur. Out there, waiting for him. Escaping, right, that's what he needed to do. He needed to get back on that track. But what had thrown him off in the first place?

But his question was dashed as he became more aware. First was the pounding headache, so fierce it seemed to jar his brain with every heartbeat, then followed by a feeling of heavy throbbing limbs and finally a jaw that ached something horrible. He groaned. What the hell had happened?

Merlin opened his eyes, slowly blinking a few times to try and clear his blurry vision. He stared up at a plain white ceiling vaguely recognizing it but it wasn't until he glanced around the room a bit that he confirmed it as his own room—cell. He felt the hard mattress beneath his aching body, the nightstand sitting lazily to his left and the heavy iron door across the room with its little peeper window. He glanced up slowly to the window high above. Only midday he ventured.

It was the state he was in that confused him. How come everything hurt? What the hell happened to him? He racked his brain, trying to recall the past day or even few hours. He remembered the nurse leaving his room to go to eat, but he never got there did he? No, his rumbling stomach confirmed that. Unless he had been out for a whole day? But no that wasn't right either. He didn't feel like he had been sleeping that long. But then where did he go? And why did he remember a feeling of dread, a feeling of déjà vu, like it had…happened….before…

It all came rushing back to him in a jolt. The guard, the bracelet, the familiar door. Then came the doctors, the cot, the electrodes, and the biting pain that followed before…nothing.

A different form of experiment.

Merlin grit his teeth and the memory. That's why he had been thrown off his escape planning, his thoughts of freedom being dashed in a second of panic and pain. And that's why he felt so sore. Electroshock therapy. Therapy, no. More like torture.

Merlin slowly stretched out his legs and arms, trying to regain some normalness to them. He slowly swung them around, sitting up with his feet hanging over the cot. They felt so dead but some strength seemed to return with each movement he made even though the soreness continued to throb throughout. Soon he was able to stand, albeit rather shakily.

As he was attempting to take his first step, the door clicked before opening. The overseer strode in, a smug look plastered on her face.

"Feeling better, I see." She smirked.

Merlin just glared at her from where he stood on unsteady legs. He hadn't seen her since that night, the night he had tried to escape only to be caught at the last second.

"It seems your experimental therapy session this morning worked rather well." She looked him over once, her grin deepening at his weakened state. "Got the best results yet."

"Why are you here? Don't you have some other patient to torture with your annoying prattle?" Merlin snapped. He had no desire to see her, no desire to ever see her again if he could help it.

"No, of course not." She made her way toward him, stopping a few inches from where he stood. "Don't you know you're my favorite, Merlin?" she drawled, her eyes lidded as she cupped his cheek gently before slapping it softly. She walked back toward the door, chuckling. "Besides, I thought you would like to know that is to become your new permanent form of therapy. Weekly sessions."

"_It's only for a short while—"_

A voice sounded in his head, soft and reassuring. Whether it be a hallucination or a memory, he didn't know, and before he could ponder it further, it was gone.

Merlin said nothing, instead opting to pierce her with his most sharpened glare. She only smirked before wiggling her fingers in a parting gesture and striding from the room, her chuckling fading down the hallway.

Merlin just stood there numbly. Weekly sessions. Was that even legal? Healthy? He was pretty sure that couldn't be good for a body, to have seizures forced upon it once a week. It could shut down, cause heart problems, not to mention loads of other problems. And wouldn't that just put a damper on any escape plans. No, if he was going to get out, it had to now, before he became permanently damaged in any way.

A few minutes later, a nurse entered his room carrying a tray laden with a cup of water and the same bland mush that qualified as a meal here. He ate it slowly, his arms still trying to regain their strength but soon he found the tray empty and gone with two nurses now by his side telling him they were going to help him to the lounge to recover. With a sigh, he nodded as the nurses, one on each side, gripped his arms to keep him from toppling over and began guiding him out the door and down the hallway. A guard followed in their wake.

As they walked, he became more and more stable on his own, the aches and soreness still present but not overpowering. By the time they reached the lounge, he was walking on his own with only a slight limping gait. Just as well for he had some planning to do and his determination was stronger than ever.

Under the pretense of needing to walk off more of the soreness, Merlin wandered around the lounge, subtly scouting out his escape route and cautionary measures he had to take. The two nurses had retreated back out into the hallway but the guards around the edge of the room tracked his movements like they were expecting him to collapse in a heap or have another episode.

"—_the lounge area. Patients can relax and do activities that strengthen their minds and help them on the way to recovery—"_

Another voice, different than the last and not as familiar, broke through his mind. Gentle, yes but with a side of authority to it that the other lacked. He recalled the conversation from his tour of the facility when he was first brought here. But he couldn't remember the rest of the tour for some reason. He tried to grasp at it, to pull the rest of the memory to the surface but it darted away, back into the dark recesses of his mind. Merlin shook his head and focused once more on the task at hand.

Why hadn't he thought of the lounge before? It was not too far from his own cell and only placed two major obstacles in his way, his own electronically locked door and the window in the lounge, both of which would require the use of magic to escape from. But it would be a small price to pay if his plan worked. If he timed it correctly, he wouldn't even have to face down any guards or nurses. No one was stationed in the lounge, and the doors were not locked seeing as no patients were thought to have been unable to get out of their rooms after hours. It was the perfect plan. Of course luck had never been on his side as of late but he didn't let that break his hopeful mindset. He was determined that this was going to it. He would finally be free. He would finally be with Arthur again. But first, he needed to make sure he was in good enough shape to do so.

So it was a day later that he found himself prepared and ready to break out of this hell hole.

He spent the day going over the route again and wandering around the lounge to double check his plans. It seemed so simple, too simple in fact. Something was bound to go wrong. It was just too simple. But they wouldn't expect him to be able to use magic now, would they? Thinking it was all locked tightly behind the cuff he wore, unreachable. His best weapon was and had always been being underestimated. It was once again going to come in handy.

It had finally grown dark and all the patients had been led back into their rooms and locked in for the night. Merlin lay on his cot, feigning sleep while watching the guard pass on his rounds. In the ten minutes it took the guard to come back around to his room, Merlin had been building up a pile of the meager stuffing from his rough mattress. He had managed, through much effort and strain, to finally tear a hole in the fabric and had begun pulling out the stuffing inside. Each time he heard the guard though, he had to dive back onto the bed and under his blanket, feigning sleep on his side, while keeping the stuffing he had managed to procure that round, out of sight behind his back. It was a slow and painful process but soon enough the mattress was picked clean and he had a decent pile of filling. He quickly shoved the pile under the blanket, shaping it into a lumpy but passable form of a thin body while hiding the pillow under the blanket slightly as to act as the head. The mattress was nothing but a thin layer of fabric now but it was not too overly noticeable, Merlin thought. All in all it looked…poor, but it would have to do.

Merlin hid under the bed and held his breath as the guard came by his room. This was it, moment of truth. He could easily be caught now and then his whole plan would be for naught. Another attempt failing, this time, before it had even begun.

He heard the guard approach his door and watched as the man's face appeared in the window, glancing in. It seemed to take longer than usual and Merlin began to panic that the man had noticed something amiss, but before his panic could rise any further, the guard moved on, his face disappearing from the window and his footsteps retreating down to the next room.

Merlin let out his held breath, his panic subsiding. That had felt like a close call.

Merlin turned his focus back to the task at hand, only just remembering to pick up a count and time it for when the guard rounded the corner. One minute. It took one minute for the guard to be out of sight and then the rest could be put into action.

He prepared himself, knowing what he would have to do once he reached the end of a minute. He dug around for his little scraps of magic, clinging tight to it as he brought it to the surface. A simple spell was all it took. That's it. He could do this. He had to.

"_You don't have magic! You are not Merlin and he is not King Arthur! There is no destiny—"_

The voice reverberated through his head unexpectantly, bringing his thoughts to a sudden halt. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the voice, taunting and spitting lies but not necessarily cruel. More panicked concern. _Not now,_ he thought. He didn't have time for this. The hallucinations would just have to wait until he was home free. Couldn't they just hold off a little longer?

Merlin focused again on the count. He had lost it with the intrusion of the hallucination but found it again quickly. 58…59…60 and with a whispered word, magic sputtered hesitantly out, unlocking the door with a click before the pain jarred up through his arm like fire. He breathed in pained gasps but refused to be incapacitated this time, instead opting to push forward. With his other hand, the one not feeling like it was falling off, he grasped the door and swung it open. He glanced down the hall, just to be safe before stumbling out, determination and adrenaline pushing him onward. He met no resistance, even as he reached the lounge. So far, so good. Everything was going extremely well. Too well. Merlin's senses went onto full alert, anticipating…anything. It just couldn't be this easy, could it?

But luck seemed to finally have partnered with him as he tumbled through the lounge doors clumsily but oddly quiet. No guards, no nurses, nothing. He remained on high though, expecting his good fortune to backfire on him any moment, as he made his way over to his favorite spot.

The only window that faced the outside world.

Could it really be this easy?

Merlin tensed as he prepared himself for another spell. He drew the dregs of his reachable magic up to the surface and with only his intention to guide it, set it free. The pain that followed was more intense than his earlier spell and he was forced to grit his teeth as he slumped into the armchair.

No. He would not fail this close again. He had to keep going, to fight through the pain and push on. He had to get out, to be free, to find Arthur, protect him, love him, so they could fulfill their new destiny together, whatever it may be. And was damn sure going to find out what it was.

With that thought, Merlin stood up, his legs shaking but steady under the bout of pain. A pain that wasn't leaving or diminishing. What was wrong?

Merlin glanced up at the window. It looked no different, still whole and there, blocking his escape. What did his magic do? And why was he still hurting? It was almost as if—

It suddenly dawned on him what his magic had done, was still doing. For it hadn't stopped. It was still feeding into the window, keeping the pain fresh in his body, until he cut off the connection. It was waiting for him to walk forward and grasp freedom.

With that thought in mind, Merlin ascended onto the window sill and stepped forward, his body passing cleanly through as if the window were made of air, and out onto the grass below.

Once clear of the window, Merlin felt his magic release the connection it had held and the pain began to subside. But he didn't wait too long. A smile broke out onto Merlin's face, for the first time since he had arrived here, and he strode out into the world, letting the night envelop him in its cold embrace.

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**A/N:** FREEDOM! I know, finally. But he's out now so that's good. But for how long...

Until next time, have fun be safe and don't die!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I know I know, I'm late again. Sorry guys. Easter has been insane and I had so much to do and the new quarter starts tomorrow...sigh...but anyway here ya go. And again as a reward for your patience, its longer! Longest chapter by far! So ENJOY!

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It took Merlin all night to reach the nearest town. The forest surrounding the facility seemed endless, and every tree looked the same as the last in the darkness. Merlin just hoped he wasn't going in circles. He had no idea where he was or what country he was in, and at first he didn't really care. He just wanted to get the hell away from the asylum. He had started out running, trying to put as much distance between him and the facility as he could. But soon he had to slow down as the cold, pain, and fatigue started to catch up with him along with numerous hallucinations popping up spitting lies and taunts, trying to confuse him and pull him off course. He knew he needed to find some shelter or else risk being caught out in the open. No doubt come morning his absence would be discovered and then the search would begin.

The sun began peeking through the gap in the trees a few minutes before Merlin found himself in the backyard of someone's house as he stumbled out of the forest. Several cozy houses faced away from him, lining a street that overlooked a large valley with a town nestled in its depths. City might be a better description as the entirety of the valley floor was littered with buildings large and small with a freeway cutting through the center of it all. Not exactly what Merlin expected to run into this close to an asylum but then again, he had no idea how far he had traveled.

The sun bathed him in its warmth from the other side of the valley where it was shining through the gap in the small mountains. Merlin just stood there for few minutes, soaking in the rays and taking in the view and the feeling of freedom.

"Where'd you come from, boy?"

Merlin started, jumping so hard he lost his balance as his exhausted mind tried to catch up with his feet, and he toppled over onto the dew soaked grass. He winced as he stupidly braced his fall with his right arm and the throbbing pain from using magic before to escape made itself known once more.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright there, love?" Merlin finally looked up, wanting to place a face to the mysterious but gentle voice. A woman, maybe 60 or so with greying fly-away hair and a sort of pudgy build, was bustling toward him from the back porch of the house whose backyard he had wandered into. She wore a long flower print nightgown which billowed slightly behind her as she made her way toward him.

Merlin quickly scrambled to his feet, his senses on high alert for any sort of danger. He didn't know this woman, hadn't had any interactions with anyone outside the asylum staff and, of course the retched hallucinations, for...however long he had been there. She could work at the facility for all he knew. He had to be on his guard and ready to flee despite his body's protests at the idea.

"My goodness!" She exclaimed, slowing down as she got closer to him and taking in his current appearance. Merlin didn't know what she saw on his face but he could tell from the state of his loose fitting pajamas that he was covered in dirt and mud along with several cuts and scrapes. The trek through the forest had not been easy in the dark, but his desperation and adrenaline made him ignore the pain and focus on the escape. "What have you been doing…wandering the woods all night? You lost?"

"I'm...yeah, I'm lost. Was…camping with a couple of friends but I wandered too far and got a bit turned around," he stammered, the lie coming out easier as he found his voice. This woman didn't seem threatening. In fact, Merlin could only see concern and confusion upon her face. And her eyes were gentle and kind. He relaxed a bit, letting some tension out of his muscles. As he did, he could feel the fatigue take its place, creeping back in with a vengeance.

"Well, come inside dear. You look tired and am I right to assume you're hungry?" He nodded as the woman grabbed his arm gently steering him toward the house she had emerged from. Before he knew it, he was being lowered into a wooden chair and heard the woman move off further into the house. He didn't remember entering the house or even what the place looked like. His brain was slowly shutting down all but the most basic of functions.

Suddenly, food was brought into his line of sight, the woman holding it out to him with an encouraging smile on her face and he gave her a small smile back as he took the food gratefully. A simple sandwich, just toasted bread and cheese it looked like. But the sight was heavenly, a far leap from the mush he had been forced to eat at the facility. He bit into the sandwich, relishing in the taste and texture. It was the best thing he had had in a long time. Even the smell—

_The smell of toasting bread and melting cheese filled his nose as he lay on the couch, curled up in a ball as his grief tried to consume him. _

Merlin blinked, the vision fading slowly, but the emotions and feelings it had pushed onto him lingered. What had that been? It couldn't have been a memory, he would no doubt remember the overwhelming sadness he had felt and the cause for it. Yeah he had grieved for Gwen and Lance, but it hadn't been that all-consuming. Arthur had made sure of that. His king had kept him on his feet, kept him focused and distracted with the task of discovering their destiny this time around. And he had moved on, for Arthur's sake, despite the guilt he still felt.

So a hallucination then? But what was the purpose? Why show him that? It seemed pointless, even for the hallucinations. No loved one taunting him, no monster trying to attack, not even an attempt to blend in with his current surroundings. It was…odd.

"Better?" the woman asked, bringing Merlin back to reality. She walked into the—he quickly glanced around— living room from an adjacent hallway carrying a towel. He hadn't even realized she had left really.

"Yes, thank you."

"Good," she said with a nod of her head. She approached him and again helped him up. "Now let's see about getting you all cleaned up and into some clean clothes. I got a son away at school who looks to be about your size. You can borrow some of his clothes."

The next few minutes were a blur of water, towels, fussing, and clean clothes. Before Merlin knew it he found himself lying in a twin bed, his scrapes and cuts cleaned and bandaged and a pair of loose fitting pants and shirt covering his thin frame. He knew he couldn't stay here too long, that he needed to keep moving and keep distancing himself from the asylum and find Arthur. But for now, he needed to rest, if only for a few hours. It was with that last thought that his eyelids drooped closed and darkness enveloped his mind.

"_He's not getting any better." Merlin listened to the familiar feminine voice talk, soothing but now laced with concern, letting the noise break through his mind. "Now he's talking about magic and legends and destinies like when he—" there was a long pause. So they were on the phone then. But with whom? Before Merlin could ponder this further, the voice continued again "Yes. No, yes I understand. It seems like that's the only way," he heard her sigh, tone resigned. "I'll check him in in the morning."_

Merlin woke with a start, his mind racing and a headache pounding through his skull. The remnants of his dream swirled through his mind, refusing to dissipate unlike his previous dreams. A strong hallucination.

Now that he was awake, he could put a face to the voice. His mother. She was once again haunting him. But what had been the purpose of that dream? The hallucination hadn't taunted him, yelled at him, anything. It was almost as though it was posing as a memory, trying to convince him that it had really happened. But that was impossible. His mother was dead, had died back in the days of Albion and never been reincarnated. So then what was the purpose of such a dream?

Merlin was thrown out of his thoughts as he took note of his unfamiliar surroundings. He was in a small bedroom, sparse furniture lining the walls, lying on a twin bed and covered with a blue striped comforter. This was not the asylum, that he knew for sure. But then how—?

Everything came shooting back to him in an instant—the escape, traversing the forest, the town, the kind woman, everything. He relaxed slightly. He was out. He had escaped. Free. Finally.

But he tensed the next second. How long had he been here, in one spot while the search for him was no doubt underway? Sunlight was streaming through the small window to his left, telling him it was well into the day. He glanced to his right where a small nightstand was shoved against the bed frame and a small digital clock rested on its surface. The time shone back at him. 10:24am. He had only been asleep for a few hours, his still fatigued body begging him to resume his unconscious state. But he couldn't, not if he didn't want to be caught again. And then what use would he be to Arthur? No, he needed to put more distance between him and the facility, track down Arthur and then he could sleep his fill with his king safely by his side. But for now, he needed to keep moving.

Merlin got out of the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. He appreciated all the woman had done for him but he didn't want her to know he was awake. She might already know about who he is and where he came from and couldn't risk getting trapped here. He had waited so long to escape from that asylum and he would do just about anything to stay out.

He quickly snuck over to the closet situated beside the bed and rummaged around for a minute finally finding a small rucksack. If he was going to be on the move he might as well take as much he could while he can. He grabbed a change of clothes from the closet, sliding on a hoodie and shoving the rest into the bag. He found a pair of sturdy looking trainers lying on the floor and putting them on, having discarded his thin slippers halfway through the night. His feet were cut up and pained him slightly as he put weight on them, but there was no way he was going to let that hinder him. He had been through too much to let a tiny obstacle like that prevent him from reaching his goal.

Guilt slammed into his gut suddenly as he turned about the room, looking for anything else he might need and could grab quickly. The woman had been so kind, offering him salvation, food and shelter and this was how he was repaying her? By stealing her son's clothes and sneaking out the door. Desperate times called for desperate measures though and Merlin swallowed his guilt as best he could.

A minute later, he stole over to the window and wrenched it open but found it was only able to slide a few inches before becoming stuck. He debated using his magic to just walk through the damn thing but decided against it. He wasn't in any immediate danger as of now and didn't want to risk the energy and strength it would require to pull off such a feat. He glanced at the brace on his wrist. There had to be a way to get the damn thing off. But he would worry about that later, once he was safely away from the facility and had found Arthur.

Ever so quietly, Merlin snuck out the bedroom door, finding himself in a short hallway with two door set into its walls and the other end spilling out into the living room. He could see the edge of television in the living room, the box on and tuned into the morning news. Straining his ears, Merlin tried to hear any sound of movement beyond the droning and dull voices of the newscasters. But there was nothing. With a sigh of relief, he crept slowly down the hallway and peeked out into the living room. It was empty.

Merlin was about to make his way to the back door when he spotted the kitchen just beyond the living room. With a huff of resignation he dashed into it, quickly scoured the cabinets and grabbed boxes of dried fruit, trail mix, and crackers along with a bottle of water before making his way back across the living room. It was then that the sound broke through his thoughts.

"—escaped last night from the facility." Merlin snapped his head around to stare at the newscaster upon the television screen. There, beside her perfectly blonde head was a small picture of himself, staring blankly at the camera as though he was unaware of the photo being taken. He gasped. Well that was fast. He barely registered what the newscaster said next, too busy fixated on his mug shot being broadcasted across the airwaves but snapping back as she continued speaking. "They have warned us that he is highly unstable—

"_He's too unstable at the moment. Going to the funeral might do more harm than good."_

"_But he needs to get over this, needs to move on and this could provide him with much needed closure and acceptance."_

"—anyone who sees this patient is to not approach him under any circumstances and to notify the local police immediately."

The vision flashed across him mind quickly as the newscaster's words sparked something in his mind. Whether hallucination or memory he didn't know. He blinked a couple of times trying to make sense of the words. But, before he could begin to ponder anything, he heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him.

Merlin whirled around, coming face-to-face with the kind woman from earlier that morning. She stood by the now open front door, her hands covering her mouth in shock and horror as her gaze flashed from his face to the screen and back again.

"That's—you're—oh god!" she stammered, her eyes still flitting back and forth.

"Thank you for your hospitality and I'm sorry for any trouble I have caused," he dipped his head slightly at her before turning tail and sprinting out the back door.

He didn't look back, choosing to continue his mad dash and even when he hit the forest, traveling down toward the valley below but staying well within the trees, he didn't stop. He didn't know if the woman would phone the police or not but he might as well treat it as if she would. Better to be safe than sorry. There was no way he was going back. He had a job to do.

Merlin knew he needed to stay on the outskirts of the city until he hit the other side and could lose himself in the forest beyond. It would be too dangerous to stay here within the city, where it would be crawling with police and anyone could recognize him but he also couldn't escape up into the mountains. With as little supplies as he had, he wouldn't last long in the cold and the weather. Plus he would most likely get lost. No, he needed to stay close to the city but well within the cover of the forest. It was risky, but Merlin knew he had no choice.

It was an hour later, as he was slinking through the tightly packed trees that he heard them. Footsteps and muffled shouting sounded from deeper within the forest ahead of him. Merlin crouched, not knowing who was out here in the woods and not wanting to be seen. But no matter who it was, they were blocking his route. He would have to travel right past them in order to continue on his journey. Merlin cursed. That left him with only two choices. Either risk the city, or venture up into the mountains, neither of which sounded particularly safe at the moment. But his decision was made for him as more voices sounded from deep in the forest to his right, effectively cutting off his escape into the mountains. City it was then.

He moved then, making his way to the edge of the forest, ducking behind bushes and trees alike to keep out of sight. It brought back memories of the days when he would be dragged along on hunts with Arthur. Back then he had purposefully stomped around, trying to create as much noise as possible not only to scare the game but to also annoy the prince. The exasperated glares and amused but cutting comments were worth all his trouble and any punishment he would receive later for his incompetence.

Merlin smiled to himself at the memories. Now was completely different. He had to watch where he stepped, avoiding any sticks or dry leaves that would crunch under foot while also keeping hidden. It was harder than sneaking through the halls of the asylum, where all he had to worry about was someone spotting him as he crept barefoot across the tiles, but he still managed somewhat.

A shout of discovery echoed from behind him. Merlin glanced back the way he had come, not seeing the person who had made the noise but knowing they were not far behind. And he wasn't covering his tracks so they might have just found his trail. If they were indeed out here, searching for him, then all they would have to do is follow his trail and he would be discovered. If that was the case, then his only way out was to lose them in the city somewhere. It was riskier but there seemed to be no other option. With those thoughts, Merlin continued stealthily forward with more haste.

He reached the edge of the forest after a couple of minutes and hid behind a tree at the edge, glancing behind him back into the forest. He could hear the crunching of leaves as someone continued to follow, but they had fallen behind slightly, giving him more time to make an escape. He knew now without a doubt that whoever they were, they were trailing him. He had made a little detour a while back, circling off course and looping around a tree just to be certain, and sure he heard shouts and exclamations as the detour trail was followed. They may not know who they were following but it was clear they were out looking for someone and there was no doubt in his head they were searching for him.

Merlin shook his head, looking back out toward the city from his hiding spot on the edge of the forest. He tried to shake the dread that had crept up on him, but it only rooted more firmly in his gut. He ignored it as best he could, instead choosing to focus on the task at hand.

Thankfully, a little beyond the edge of the trees stood several buildings with their backs facing him. It was deserted back here and he quickly ran across the open area behind in between the tree line and the start of the buildings. He stole down the nearest alleyway and crouched behind a dumpster besides a handle-less door set into the building. The end of the alleyway was a ways ahead and Merlin could see people passing by the gap, going about their days. He winced. There was no way he could go long without being discovered out there. Maybe if he stayed here, the person following him would assume he had gone back into the forest and never come this way. Could he afford to rely on such hopes?

No, he really couldn't. He had to get out of this alleyway before his tail broke the forest line.

But it seemed luck was not on his side anymore. As Merlin snuck back the way he had come and peeked his head around the edge of the alleyway, back toward the forest to see if he had been spotted, a man exited the trees right where the young warlock had. Merlin cursed. The man's eyes scanning the ground. The sun glinted off something metal at the man's waist and Merlin stiffened at the sight of a police badge. He cursed again.

Not only was the police on his trail, but they were also now blocking his best escape route. How could he have been so stupid, thinking the alleyway was his best option? But that's just it, he hadn't been thinking. He had only been concerned with moving, and moving now. He had failed to think ahead and scout out his options this one time and now he was going to pay for it. But no matter what happened, he wasn't going down without a fight, that much he was certain.

"No I'm telling you Frank, these are definitely fresh track," the man spoke up, shouting to someone still within the forest. "Someone wandered this way recently. And if that lady Jared talked to was telling the truth, the boy would have traveled this way. It could be him!"

A muffled voice came from deeper in the forest and the man turned toward the sound, listening, Merlin suspected, to another member of the force. So, the woman had called the police after all. Merlin sighed. She had seemed so kind and considerate. How could she have just ratted him out like that? He just couldn't catch a break it seemed.

"Yeah, I'm gonna check out the city and see if anyone has seen him come by here," the man responded to whatever his coworker had said. Then he turned and headed straight for Merlin's hiding spot. There was no way he wouldn't be caught. Merlin glanced toward the other end of the alleyway, seeing people walking pass going about their business. He was trapped with nowhere to go but out into the throng. He would just have to hope no one could recognize him for a little while.

It was as he bunched his muscles in order to dash through the alleyway before the man made his way down it that the door beside him opened inwards. A hand reached out and snagged his arm, pulling him inside before he could even register what was happening and shutting the door softly. Merlin struggled against the grip on his arm in the dim light, unable to see his attacker as his eyes took their sweet time to adjust to the change in brightness. A grunt sounded from the person holding him as his elbow connected with soft flesh, but the grip only turned into a full body restraint, the man wrapping his arms around Merlin's torso from behind, keeping his arms pinned to his body.

"Geez, calm down! I'm not gonna hurt you, Merlin! It's me!"

Merlin froze his mind unable to believe what he was hearing. That voice. He knew that voice. It was the voice that kept him on his feet, kept him sane within the facility, and made him fight to escape it. It was the reason he did what he did every day and the reason he stuck around for centuries, wandering the earth without a purpose.

The arms around him loosened as the man behind him realized he had stopped struggling. Merlin carefully turned around, his eyes finally adjusted to the light and gazed at the man before him.

"Arthur!"

* * *

**A/N:** YAY! King and Warlock back together again! Let's hope it stays that way...  
Reunion next chapter so even more YAY! Until then, have fun be safe and don't die!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Yeah I know, I'm late...again. I'm gonna blame it on writer's block and a strong hate for how I kept writing this whole chapter. I wanted it to be perfect. I don't think I achieved perfection (cause lets be honest now, that's impossible especially with all you critics out there. Not everyone will be happy) but I'm pretty happy with it. Its better than my other drafts sooooooo yeah.

**Warning:** If I didn't make it obvious before I'm going to now...this fic contains Merthur. So if you can't handle the slash, abandon ship now. otherwise...

ONWARD MY FELLOW READERS!

* * *

_Recap: _

_The arms around him loosened as the man behind him realized he had stopped struggling. Merlin carefully turned around, his eyes finally adjusted to the light and gazed at the man before him._

"_Arthur!"_

* * *

Merlin may have been shocked at first but it soon disappeared to be replaced with an absolute overwhelming joy. Arthur was standing in front of him, arms still loose around Merlin's torso even though there was no longer any threat to either of them, a small smile form on his lips. He was here, whole and alive.

"Hey there—," Arthur began, but Merlin didn't let him finish whatever he was about to say. He didn't really care at the moment. Instead, he grabbed a hold of his king's face and brings their lips together. Arthur lips were soft and warm and oh how he missed him so damn much and wishes this was how it could be forever. For the span of a heartbeat, Arthur was stunned, before he returned the kiss with a desperation and hunger that Merlin himself had been holding at bay, if only just. From there it was a mad frenzy of nipping and sucking, each unable to get enough of the other.

All the while, scenes and images began to flash across Merlin's mind at an alarming rate.

_Him and Arthur in an apartment lying on a couch bodies entwined both half asleep, him and Arthur at a restaurant having dinner and he's laughing at a joke Merlin just said, him and Arthur large textbooks lying open in front of them as they study while stealing fond glances at each other, him getting into the driver's seat of the car __on that fateful night_, as Arthur takes the passenger seat with Gwen and Lance in the back—

Merlin barely has time to register that something seemed off about one of the visions before Arthur pulled away, breathing heavily and lips slightly swollen.

"We can't stay here. Any moment now Officer Brandy is going to search through here looking for you." Arthur stated, glancing over his shoulder as though expecting the man to pop out with guns ablaze. And just like that, Merlin's thoughts were dashed as the present comes slamming back into place.

"What—?"

"No. Not now. I'll explain later, once we are somewhere safer," Arthur said before reaching into a bag at his feet that Merlin didn't notice before. He pulled out a black ball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses and handed them over to Merlin. "Here, put these on."

Merlin didn't question the request, immediately complying. He knew his face was now known to most of the population and that there were people out there searching for him right now. This might be enough to cover his features until they got to wherever Arthur had dubbed 'somewhere safer'. But Merlin knew that if the overseer was out there joining in the fun of hunting him down—which he had no doubt that she was—no amount of disguise would be able to keep her from seeing him as he was. He would just have to hope his luck continued to hold out a little bit longer.

* * *

It did.

They made it without a hitch to Arthur's rented room a few blocks down from the restaurant that Arthur had unceremoniously dragged Merlin into as he had yanked him from the alleyway. Merlin saw no sign of the overseer the whole way or any staff from the facility, though they did spot an officer and slyly duck into a shop until the man passed by. Other than that…

There were so many questions running through Merlin's head by the time Arthur unlocked a plain red door and ushering him inside that he hardly took notice of his surroundings. A battle raged in his head, with one side clearly dominating but the other side unwilling to give up. Everything about Arthur was as real as it had ever been and he wanted it him to be real so bad, but what if he wasn't? What if Merlin was hallucinating right now and Arthur wasn't really here, but out there somewhere in the world searching for him still? It was true that so far, he had been unable to _touch _any of his phantoms and vice versa but what if this just means he'd gotten worse? Because what were the odds that Arthur just _happened_ to be in this city, this close to the facility and just _happened _to be in the kitchens of the restaurant that just _happened_ to open out into the alleyway that he just _happened_ to wander down. Pretty slim as far as Merlin was concerned. But he was unwilling to make up his mind until he had heard Arthur out, hallucination or not.

As soon as the door closed, Arthur turned back around, facing Merlin expectedly.

"Now, I know by that look on your face that you have a ton of questions for me." Arthur shot him a knowing smile, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "So, go ahead. Shoot."

"Are you real?" the question slipped out of Merlin's mouth before he could stop it and he quickly snapped his mouth shut even though it was clearly too late to take it back.

Hurt flashed briefly across Arthur's face before he masked it with an amused grin. It was so like Arthur, so genuine and _real_ that Merlin found his hallucination theory slowly crumbling under the onslaught of Arthurisms he was witnessing. There were just too many differences between the hallucinations and the Arthur that stood before him.

"Oh course I'm real. Why wouldn't I be?"

And with that, the hallucination theory turned to dust. This was Arthur, he was absolutely sure of it. He would know this man anywhere. The man he has spent his whole never-ending life swearing to protect. The man he knew better than himself and loved more than life. He was real and he was here now.

The young warlock let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Before he knew it he found himself embracing his king, holding on, afraid that if he were to let go, Arthur would disappear and this would turn out to be just a dream. Like this, he could feel the thrum of his king's heartbeat against his cheek and the warm breath that flowed across his neck as Arthur breathed.

Merlin was so lost in his own mind and the sensations washing over him that it was a while before he remembered the questions buzzing around in his head.

"So wait, how did you find me?" Merlin asked, pulling back so he could see Arthur's face.

"I've been searching for you ever since you disappeared. I looked everywhere it seems, talked to so many people, followed so many false leads and trails that led to dead ends. And on top of that, I have had all manner of magical creatures popping up and hindering my noble quest. I mean, it's not like I could just report you missing or anything," Arthur stated rolling his eyes and giving a huff of annoyance. "It's hard to find your missing boyfriend when, to the rest of the world, he doesn't exist anymore," he said pointedly. "And hasn't for a couple of centuries."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I was getting there, idiot." Merlin's heart soared at the sound of the insult. It was the name Arthur had been calling him ever since their times in Camelot. Even though it had begun as an insult back when they had barely known each other, it had steadily grown into one of fondness and love. Merlin had missed it greatly.

Arthur continued. "So then, a few days ago I got a tip that there was this asylum here and a sorcerer was rumored to be held there. Naturally, I had to check it out. And I was just about to put my brilliantly formulated infiltration plan into action when I heard there had been a break out and your picture popped up in the police station." Merlin cocked an eyebrow in a questioning manner which Arthur interpreted immediately. "I've been posing as a private detective—"

Merlin nodded in understanding. With his magic, he was able to create badges, ID's, passports, false records, anything in order to get him and Arthur anywhere and everywhere they needed to be. It was one of the many perks of being a warlock in modern times where magic was nothing but a bedtime story. Obviously Arthur had been taking full advantage of the documents Merlin had made for him. But they were used mainly for modern life, not the magical world. And that's when the thought suddenly occurred to Merlin.

"—which really came in handy. So, I stole a radio and kept tabs on the police's progress. When I heard one of them had found a trail I quickly made my way to his location but spotted you from the edge of the city with the officer not far behind. That's how I came to be in that restaurant and well, you know the rest."

"Wait, back up a little. How did you obtain this tip exactly?" Merlin asked. Because it had been about magic and sorcerers and that could only mean—

"I…came across a very ummm…persuasive troll." Arthur replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked anywhere but at the young warlock. Merlin glowered at him, making his displeasure known. Arthur knew how Merlin felt about him facing off against magical beings without the young warlock there to protect him. This was exactly what Merlin had been worried about when he was in the asylum. He knew Arthur would only be able to avoid the magical side of the world for so long before either it caught up with him or he went looking for it. It's the way things had always been, even back in the times of Albion.

"Don't give me that look Merlin," Arthur said his voice turning angry in an instant. "You disappeared! Gone! Without a trace! What was I supposed to do?!" Arthur's voice rose in volume as the words poured out of his mouth. His eyes pierced Merlin's, light blue orbs expressing the pain and desperation he felt at the young warlock's absence. Then suddenly, his anger disappeared and he dropped his gaze to the floor. He looked drawn, weary, and completely disheartened in an instant and when he spoke again, it was barely more than a whisper. "I can't do this without you."

Merlin softened immediately. Here was Arthur, noble, brave, fearless Arthur, the Once and Future King, admitting he was unable to continue with his destiny alone. Merlin shook his head slowly, stepping closer to his king. He brought his hand up to Arthur's chin, tilting his face up until their eyes met.

"Yes, you can," he said with slight conviction. Then he wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist reassuringly. "When I was in there, all I could think of was that you needed me, that you needed my protection. But clearly you are able to do this all on your own." Arthur shook his head, eyes saying that he didn't. Merlin smiled, nodding once. "You may not want me to ever leave and god knows I'll be with you until you can no longer stand my annoying charm." Arthur chuckled, arms wrapping around the young warlock in return, giving him a small squeeze. "But you tracked me down, all the while facing off against magical creatures and survived. You didn't need my magic or my so called wisdom. You are strong enough to face this world on your own, trust me. You just proved that."

Those words sparked a feeling in Merlin of not only reassuring Arthur, but also himself. He frowned slightly in confusion before shaking his head and focusing back on his king.

Arthur sighed, a grin spreading across his face. "I missed you so much."

Merlin smiles back. "And I you."

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, no cliffhanger...boo. I wanted to but...it didn't work out. So yeah, there ya have it. Now only a few more chapters to go until this baby is all wrapped up and tied it with a nice bow. HURRAY! And now, to work on my next theme! So until next time, have fun be safe and don't die!


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